Failure

Yep I know I haven’t bogged in months! I do miss it and I feel bad but hey what can I say… Contest prep ended up being a lot more demanding than I thought!!!
When I started my prep I knew I could lean down and that just by tweaking my diet and working out it would be fine. I was doing bikini this time so it would probably be easy. Well guess who got fed a big piece of humble pie!
First of all I would like to thank my friend Claudine who supported me during this prep and if it hadn’t been for her I’m not sure I would have made it!
So back in January I started prep and nothing happened! I changed my diet, started doing cardio and nothing moved. I even got sick and gained 7 lbs over 2 days. So we changed my diet, increased the cardio and still nothing. My bodyfat had doubled in the last year and I was starting to lose faith that I would make it in time. It was really hard for me to not see results because I’ve always been the one that leans down fast… After someone recommended that I up my carbs my weight started moving but not fast enough. I figured my body might not be the best but I have good stage presence and I would focus on that. I made a lot of progress in the last two weeks, I knew I wouldn’t look like I wanted to look but it would have to do and all I needed was a 5th place anyway to be able to do the nationals and 5th place would be easy.
Well the day of the registration I show up and I get the 1st number of my category, when my coach found out he was a bit worried because the other 2 shows he had been to where there was a bikini class the judges changed their minds when the 1st girl was on stage and she ended up having to move around. Well guess what happened to me!!! I was out, was told to go to the front once in front they realized lighting was bad and asked me to back up then go left and right then there was a mixup in the call outs and the marshal wouldn’t let me go and grabbed me by my arm lol . After the preliminaries my coach was happy I had made the first call out but I wasn’t happy, I knew I could have done better, I knew I had lost my focus and the points I could have gotten for presentation were gone ☹ I was so mad I didn’t know what to do, at that point I didn’t even want to go to the night show. That’s when I got a call that got me crying lol Stephanie called and asked what had happened. Talking to her just made me realize how stupid my anger was…

So I grabbed my stuff and drove to my parents to hang out with my mom and sis and play with my nephew. The youngest one Matthew didn’t recognize me and was scared of me lol I had to feed him candy for him to come within a 100 yards of me. My dad who had never seen me compete, in pics or the day of the show asked “ if it would all come off after a good shower and to please not touch his new car” I told my mom and sis not to come to the night show because I hadn’t done well and didn’t want them to waste their time. My sis said, I know the judges already made their mind but tonight I want you to go out there and show the judges what I was capable of so that they would remember me in August. After napping, going quadding with my nephew and my dad, playing ball with my sis, dad and BIL ( BTW my dad throws like a girl…) and hockey with the kids I felt so much better. I went back to the venue in a great mood, I had fun at night and even though I placed six and need to requalify I was happy! Happy to hear my sis and Claudine scream how pretty I was and how good I looked, happy because I got asked by photogs to work with them more than any other girl in my category and happy because I went there feeling like a winner even tho I knew I had lost. Hey that cheat meal with Claudine and my coach was near, my bday was the next day and I knew I would start the day with champagne and hugs and kisses by my favorite people in the world and tons of food that day.




The biggest lesson I learned is that you have to own your failures. I was asked if I was mad at the judges and the marshal and the answer is no. Unless I own my mistakes that day I wil never get better. Blaming my placing on the marshal's and the judges mistakes would be too easy and I would keep being a victim of circumstances that I can't control. That's why I'm owning it and I've learned from it. I could have focused harder, started prep earlier, practice my posing more… I started my prep for the provincial the Monday after my show and I no longer think that this will be easy. I will come in in the best shape of my life because I will work harder than ever before and because finishing 6th gave me the drive to never want to loose again. BTW the results came out and there is only 3 points between me and the girls who finished #4 so it was tight.. I will also document my prep way better, I usually do but didn’t this time because I didn’t think I needed to since I was only doing bikini. Well peeps get ready to see some progress pics and weight updates. I also have a lot of fun stuff happening between now and July 3rd… 2 of my best friends are getting married so wedding pics and bachelorette pics will be posted!
On that not this is me having a mimosa at 7am on my bday. Yikes no makeup and my hair in a bun, Stephanie please don’t judge me lol I had enough makeup on the day before to last me a month!!! My pores needed a break